There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
