Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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