I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
