It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize