ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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