new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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