Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
