I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
