Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Im part way to drunk.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
