guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
