Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
