At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize