I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
