We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize