we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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