She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
