nut hugger
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
