I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
