We're like a lot better than the average bears
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
