white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize