Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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