So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
