just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
