we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
