he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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