I'm drive I can fine osifer
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
