she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You ate ashes out of my bong
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
