dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
tell your sister to shave her snatch
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
