also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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