You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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