Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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