Screwed.edu
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
