Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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