when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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