but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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