I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
