I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
