i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
