If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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