i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
handjob tips. give me some.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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