i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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