It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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