so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
