And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
