i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
