Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
