New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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