Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
