She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Enjoy the penises
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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