he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
