I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
