I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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