Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
