some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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