your room smells of hookers.
And success
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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