Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
