he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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