3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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