i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
