she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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