Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
zippers are such a cool invention
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
