NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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