im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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